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Expatriated Zulu and Charming Negress

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hic hic hic hic [20 Nov 2009|12:27pm]
I have all these phone calls to make and I can't get rid of my hiccups. This will not go well, with me *gleep*ing at my broker every five seconds.

My cat Mungo is getting old. It's always hard to catch him (we never could rehabilitate him from feral) but tomorrow I have to get him to the vet so they can check his kidney function. He's been drinking much more often lately and has lost weight. He's not near the end yet, but I want to find out what's going on.

On the needles: blue-and-brown fingerless gloves. Next will be an evil Yoda hat for [info]grundig666 crimmus.
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Writer's Block: Book review [18 Nov 2009|03:14pm]
[ mood | busy ]

What (if any) books would you ban from a high school library? Are there certain subjects that you feel are inappropriate for teenagers regardless of literary merit?


View 1373 Answers



if Fred Phelps wrote a book, that would be about it. No one needs to have access to his drivel.

When my sister was in high school, she got lip from the librarian for wanting to read the Valachi Papers. In my senior year, I got looked at funny for carrying around copies of Steal This Book and Drawing Down the Moon.

People will find a way to read what they want to read anyway. When J. was a lad he used to pedal his bike two neighborhoods away (crossing Queens Boulevard in the process) to buy porn and comic books. Now he still reads comic books, but we have a Playboy subscription and just glance at the girlies before getting into the articles. This month's interview with James Cameron is a bit dull but there's a fun story about snake hunting in the Everglades.
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[18 Nov 2009|11:56am]
*itch itch itch* Oh, winter is coming. *itch itch*

Time to buy stock in Nivea.
3 comments|post comment

ugh [14 Nov 2009|05:22pm]
[ mood | ewww ]

Oh cripes. i had a nightmare that Pete Wentz gave me a shitload of STDs. I woke up flailing and choking on some backwash and J. was all "whats wrong hon" and I was like "PETE WEEEEENTZ" and just...ew.

Where the hell did that come from? He's not even remotely near my List. He falls into the category of "vaguely pretty, but too annoying to think about".

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Since I have some money to blow on reading matter... [14 Nov 2009|06:52am]
I need some books.

Recommendations, anyone? Whatever you think I'd like, I'll try.
19 comments|post comment

OH GOD WHAT [13 Nov 2009|08:07pm]
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[13 Nov 2009|06:55pm]
*purr*

I have loaves of cats. :)
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[13 Nov 2009|08:45am]
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[12 Nov 2009|12:12am]
Lady Gaga scares me because you can't imagine her sitting around on her day off wearing sweatpants and eating ice cream in bed. Whenever you see her, she's ON. It probably takes her six hours and a team of stylists to get her ass out the door and that is terrifying.

I don't think she's human. [info]gynocide told me to stop watching V but I'm just waiting for Gaga to eat the guinea pig:



I wish they would hurry up and have Morena Baccarin (be still my heart loins, she is exquisite) eat the guinea pig already. It's bad enough that they don't talk in stereo (cutting out the vocal effect with no explanation is what killed the original series, dammit). I want my Visitors to be eating small pets.
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Writer's Block: Famous last words [11 Nov 2009|02:09pm]

If you were close to death, what would you choose for your last words? To whom would you want to say them?

Submitted By [info]whoismarion


View 1497 Answers



"Can't I stay?"
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[11 Nov 2009|12:36pm]
[ mood | hungry ]
[ music | earache my eye! you're goin' to school today! ]

I wayyyy overslept today.

I putter into the living room and find J. sitting there watching Buffy DVDs. I assume he's got the day off for the holiday.

Noooo, he's got training today, except they're doing it via podcast, so he's pretending to listen to the stuff he already knows while the Scoobies run around doing their thing.

I told him he better be going out for lunch because I want pizza. Mmmm pizza.

I did not know that Korn did a version of "Earache My Eye". I am amused. I wish they had done the skit, too.

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[10 Nov 2009|10:45pm]
[ mood | nerdy ]

So we're watching an SG-1 rerun, and they say something about beaming a guy directly to the bridge.

J.: That's not cool. What if he was in the middle of taking a dump or something?

Me: maybe when they beam you, the dump gets left behind.

J.: Heh.

Me: One day, we will have the technology to have your shit beamed directly out of your rectum!

J.: Man, that would be awesome! You won't have to waste time on the crapper anymore!

Me: Until your sphincter atrophies from lack of use, or something.

J.: Ewwwww.

Me: And old people will be all "Back in the good ol' days when you pinched yer own loaves..."

J.: "Uphill, both ways, in ten feet of snow, and we only had three seashells to wipe with."

Me: WRONG SCI FI. And now I want Taco Bell.

7 comments|post comment

Thanks to [info]myrrhmade... [10 Nov 2009|03:44pm]
[ mood | silly ]

...I can't stop watching this.



happy happy doofey happy!

1 comment|post comment

no no no. [10 Nov 2009|12:22am]
CandiruLove (12:20:03 AM): wheres the drammerz
CandiruLove (12:20:21 AM): ...
CandiruLove (12:20:35 AM): its a shirt upsidedown with the neck sewn shut?
fallacies (12:20:41 AM): harem pants
fallacies (12:20:52 AM): so basically yes
CandiruLove (12:20:57 AM): naw see I own harem pants
CandiruLove (12:21:04 AM): and they dont have legs that look like sleeves
fallacies (12:21:17 AM): fashion evolves!
CandiruLove (12:21:52 AM): if thats evolution I will take creationism and wear normal fuckin pants plz
fallacies (12:21:57 AM): hahah
CandiruLove (12:22:15 AM): posting this convo :P

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...whoa. [08 Nov 2009|08:27pm]
My friends, I have found the greatest painting ever.



He's not RONERY anymore!
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Whatever else happens to [info]bonnie_rocks this winter... [08 Nov 2009|07:58pm]
...she will not freeze.

NO ONE FREEZES ON AUNTIE'S WATCH!

Packages are going out this week to [info]scottrossi and [info]lilyforthewin and [info]slug_life, I SWEAR.

BTW, the yarn for that lovely rubbly looking scarf was dyed and spun by the talented [info]lyme!
16 comments|post comment

[08 Nov 2009|03:57pm]
I love going through the car wash.

Even if it didn't get off the spruce sap, and now it looks like a tree spooged on the hood.
5 comments|post comment

[08 Nov 2009|10:49am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Bah, I have to call a plumber. I do not want to call a plumber. The guy we call is very nice and does a great job for the price, but he has a voice like a foghorn and does not shut up. If I excuse myself, he will talk to the cats while he works. About football. My cats hate football but find him fascinating.

It sucks because J. tried all morning to get the damn valve sammophlange hoodiddly off the end of the toilet tank whatsis, but the moron who installed the thing in the first place (and it has GOT to be the dumbfuck we bought this house from) put a locking nut in a place where a locking nut is not supposed to be.

At least we managed to get the water valve to that toilet shut off at last, so we could take showers after sweating and getting flakes of paint from the peeling baseboard heater stuck all over.

Fuck.

Now the anal retentive part of me is saying I should scrape and repaint the baseboard before I call the plumber. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

3 comments|post comment

oh OH OH OH oh OH OH OH oh [06 Nov 2009|07:29pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

I can't get "Poker Face" out of my BRAIN.

MAKE IT STOP! CHARLES! CHARLES GET OUT OF MA HEAD! CHARLES NOOOOO!

8 comments|post comment

[06 Nov 2009|02:17pm]
I need this shirt.



Should I lift my t-shirt moratorium, or spring for the hoodie?
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